I thoroughly dislike Foucault but there are elements of his philosophy that I do subscribe to. This article is going to focus on his ideas on the social construction of sexual orientation. Now, sexual orientation is not socially constructed. The categories of hetero, homo, an a sexual are social constructs but not the orientations, themselves. Men who are mostly attracted to women are straight but the importance of classifying straight people into a specific group rather than people just being people who have unclassified inclinations are that, as Foucault noted, it allows things to be tailored to the specific needs of people. Foucault, unquestionably, enjoyed the socially constructed homosexual identity since it made a subculture he partied very hard in that would not have existed save for the homosexual community organizing itself along relatively artificial borders of relative exclusivity.
That in creating the identity of a sexual class, they ultimately were able to afford to that class items especially needed or wanted by that class. Being an asexual is much more difficult without an asexual class and there is no asexual class like there is with the hetero or homo sexuals and there is a dear need for one. What could, you ask, an asexual need an asexual bar or club for? Why may there need be an asexual subculture. Well, firstly, it is much harder to converse with strangers at a normal bar or club without them suspecting one’s intentions are ultimately sexual and for people who much more prefer platonic relations (such as asexuals) that can be a massive issue.
However, asexuals are not always aromantic but there are huge differences between how asexuals date and how sexuals date and the not having sex is the least of it. Actually, an asexual can have sex since sexualities are a spectrum and usually use a Kinsey scale of 1-7. For asexuals, that would be 1 for having zero sexuality and 7 for full sexuality. I generally don’t consider someone bisexual unless the ratio of male/female attraction is in the central 80%. Likewise, I would define someone who is a 2 on the Kinsey scale of asexual-sexual, to be an asexual. What asexuals universally lack is not sexuality, per se, albeit any sexuality must be mild, but the lack of a sex drive.
The asexual world is less scary, more pedestrian, more innocent, gentler, softer, and without hard lust or visceral interpersonal desire. There are no real crushes in the asexual world. When I was younger, I said I had crushes on people but I’d never had a crush so didn’t know what one was like and just said I had a crush on any girl I found attractive. In fact, I had no oxytocin-style fixation on anyone. As an asexual, I am incapable of having my heart broken. Another thing you won’t find in the asexual community is anything like BDSM. Power dynamics are a major issue in relationships between sexuals, asexuals don’t mix a desire for power with their romance.
Heteroromantic asexual men are a different species from heterosexual men. They tend have less masculine and more androgenous personalities with minds more free to pursue intellectual and creative fields. I have, in recent articles, talked about how hateful people are in their interpersonal relationships but the lack of oxytocin or a sex drive means there is not the emotional drama or passion that sexuals feel. Without question, my platonic relationships have been frought with being mistreated and regarded as socially toxic for having a disability and that arouses feelings of injustice and resentment but I wouldn’t feel enraged over a breakup. I am mighty pissed and very depressed when I’m , like, ghosted because someone is terrified to be seen in public with a cripple. Yet, in those situations, I lack any desire for revenge but want them to maturely apologize and to atone for it.
One way to desscribe what asexuality feels like is like Weird Al’s artistic canon as opposed to almost anyone else’s in pop culture. Weird Al almost never sings about relationships. He is wildly creative, brilliant, and explores the immense universe beyond the border where most artists never venture beyond: relaiotnships. It is a world of innocence and creativity. While the rest of Hollywood keeps beating the eons old dead horse of relationship drama, Weird Al is not obsessed with it and and his mind is capable of escaping the Plato’s Cave of sex and into the rich Athens of literally everything else in life and the universe. For example, I knew about the standard model of particle physics and had voted in two federal elections (a midterm and presidential) before I knew what a vulva was because I thought vaginas were ciruclar holes until I was 22. I mean it’s a cylinder on my side so it made sense.
Foucault didn’t write much on asexuality but he did make a major point that relates to asexuality. Someone like me cannot live, safely or easily, in a world that does not have an asexual subculture. I can’t been seen as heterosexual and be viewed as a potential creep (which is reasonable for heterosexuals), have my motives and behaviors misunderstood, and be unable to have a group of heteroromantic asexual women I could potential date. Right now, being an asexual is to live in a world where one lives under the rules of and is assumed to be a heterosexual.
The Autistic Resistance 