My life began in a small village in rural Yemen, I eventually saved up enough money from pulling a rickshaw in the city of Aden that I went to a cosmetic surgeon, made myself attractive and white, and was finally able to get my talents recognized. I went to LA, slept with countless people, and finally got my break. A committed Christian, I didn’t do anything with the people I slept with but I’m attractive enough that mere cuddling was suffecient.
I have given many TED talks on my journey. How, through hard work, perserverance, and becoming white that I was able rise above the curse of my circumstances and make a place for myself in this world. Had my parents not died of cholera, they would swell with pride to see what I’ve become. Hopefully, my story serves to bring hope to anyone in any situation. If God can rise me up, an orphan from a war zone, he doubutless has wonderful plans for you.
Obviously, that is a joke. My real bio is below.
Hey y’all, I’m Jackson Hamilton. My full name is William Jackson Hamilton IV (and I often add the prefix of Sir and the suffix of esquire). I am a political activist, poet, fiction writer, songwriter, and amateur philosopher. I began this blog after being banned from the Daily Kos for the crime of having a fake account in addition to my real one. I wasn’t a troll, they were just stingy. The first posts I posted here were salvaged from my banned Daily Kos blog.
As the title would imply, I am Asperger’s but of a yet novel type of an already novel condition. I’m extroverted and very friendly because extroverted Aspies have the William’s Syndrome traits of being abnormally outgoing in contrast to our more introverted co-deviants.
I’m a heteroromantic asexual with classic and gushy tastes in romance that are more innocent than men are stereotyped as having. I’m also a tomgirl, that is a boy with girly tastes who prefers the platonic friendship of females but also does not wish to be transgender.
The homepage opens with a frame from the music video for Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” which jibes with my classic and gushy sub-orientation. I want Elizabeth Bennett, not Stormy Daniels. I want a flowing period drama with flowery sonnets and vows of undying love and an ornate, vintage, upper-class setting.
I’m a good-boy who likes good-girls. I abstain from alcohol, recreational drugs, and tobacco. Aesthetically, I have no tattoos or piercings. And I believe strongly in moral duty which is why I have devoted my life to politics since that is the way I can do the most good. Adding up to a comprehensive chivalry that is as much act as it is actual.
My favorite genre of music is Folk, I have a particular affinity for Celtic and American Folk and also Folk Rock. My political style is Punk Rock and Folk. I do politics like Steinbeck and The Dead Kennedys. My personality is unique but closest to a mix of Christopher McCandless and Abbie Hoffman with a lot of basic white girl mixed in.
Politically, I am a committed Democratic Socialist albeit of a more libertarian attitude. Empathetic to all, my autism helps me lack a censor and be snarky, comical, silly, and things that the more prude of the identity left frown upon. I believe in Jane Jacobs and the power of local government to create mutually supporting thriving communities that are little different from hippie communes. A socialist, I prefer small government in the sense I prefer socialism to occur on smaller scales, if possible.
My activist tactics tend towards either comedy or Satyagraha (Gandhi’s term for loving, nonviolent, resistance). A member of Black Lives Matter and a feminist, I am disheartened by the approaches of my leftist comrades. My fellows of Black Lives Matter and fellow feminists are far too often rhetorically venomous and unloving in their disposition. Malcolm X and Rose McGowan are unhealthy fantasies and approaches to have. I’m not an absolute pacifist nor a sunshiny Pollyanna but believe vitriol is a last resort and unconditional love is a categorical imperative. In the words of Dos Equis’s ‘The Most Interesting Man in the World’ “I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I’m also a fighter. So, don’t get any ideas” That fighting would include rhetoric and disposition and I firmly place compassion and comedy far before combat.
In addition to my real politics, I also have fake politics. That is to say I support the existence of fake government: monarchy. I am a committed monarchist. It is my aforementioned classic and romantic disposition that lends me to the love of royalty. My preschool heart would weep over the extinction of the institution. I believe every country should have a figurehead monarchy. By the way, my people, the Scottish (I’m stoutly of the Clan Hamilton), do not have a country nor should they and I am a staunch opponent of Scottish independence owing to my anglophilia.
Ethically, I consider myself first, a virtue ethicist, second, a deontologist, and, third, a utilitarian. In that order but a mix of all three. So, Aristotle, then Locke, and then Mill. Furthermore, I believe ethics are objective, not subjective, ultimately derived from God in the form of the Holy Spirit, a form which is a sentient philosophy much the way Maimonides understood God.
Religiously, I am a liberal, science-believing, Christian of Protestant theology although Anglo-Catholic theology, specifically. A caveat I include since Protestant theology is, when unspecified, assumed to be Calvinist. I am currently between churches but would be happy to take suggestions. Although, I have two religions, really, my real religion and my play religion. I am a believer in the apologetics arguments but I also prefer the theater of religion. I like the smells, bells, art, costumes, rituals, and such.
My play religion is part romantic fantasy and part satire. I take a Colbert-esque approach where I have a paleoconservative, anachronistic, faith and speak in the most Medieval jargon about matters of Christianity. I love imagining the alt-right and neo-Nazis as Vikings and I am a noble son of the Clan Hamilton in Scotland opposing them in my political activism. In doing so, I often deride the heathens and say jokingly genocidal things about pagans.
This is not a culture where being un-PC in such ways is survivable. I suspect that I was banned from the Daily Kos, partially, for being snarky and un-PC because the mainstream left lost its ability to delineate between actual bigotry and satirical bigotry. Generally, after the mass shootings, terrorist attacks, and media that hypes horror every minute people are so paranoid of red flags that the libertarian attitude and humor died.
In any case, I hope I have given y’all a satisfactory cursory overview over the immense being that is myself. As you do not have the blessing of my neurological condition, you can never be as interesting as me. Even if you have it, you’re still not as interesting as me. It would be against my religion to ask you to worship me as your god although, all things considered, I’d make a damn good god. If Yahweh keels over and doesn’t come back, I’m running for God. So, please vote for me. Thank you!