Stripping the Emperor is the Ultimate Resistance

There are two equal and opposite ways to do politics; comedy or tragedy. Laughing at the devil is the difference between being brave and being told in a doggy voice that you’re brave. In my high-school Gay-Straight Alliance, I left mid-year because they wanted a therapy group to cry into each other’s shoulders. Well, that wasn’t my style. I certainly got way more bullied for metaphorically mooning and comically trolling my bullies than running away and hiding with friendlier people. My mental health, undoubtedly, suffered greatly. Yet, I regret nothing. I was the only person to directly confront them and I did so with love and humor. My style was not to be mean but to be silly. I am a very silly person in a world that is ever more somber. Our world is obsessed with tragedy and everyone wants their victimhood recognized yet when you become a victim then the other side becomes a monster whom is both more difficult to forgive and has the power of fear. When you laugh at your opponents, they are no longer supervillains but buffoons who lose some power over you and, more importantly, are easier to forgive. The above photo is from the movie Life is Beautiful about comedic resistance in a Holocaust concentration camp. To misquote Gandhi “They may break your bones, torture your body, even kill you. Then they’ll have your corpse, not your obedience or spirit”. When you cry, they’ve broken you, when you laugh, they haven’t. I will die on my feet before I live on my knees! My greatest comedy act of resistance was Mary Catherine O’Neil and she’s back!

Autistic Comedy Chapter One: How was the Autism Spectrum Created

By Mary Catherine O’Neil

                As is common knowledge, the world is controlled by a small plutocracy of elites in secret societies that have been exposed in limited hangouts. By limited hangout, I mean acid trips with other tripping friends. Anyway, it goes all the way to the top. Only, now, are we beginning to see the truth come to light. The entire establishment has fought a bloody war to keep the information. The broadest and most infamous secret society of all time was behind the engineering of the syndrome. Their purpose was among the most sinister of all: human sacrifice to Lucifer. The Illuminati practices Satanic occult rituals to derive supernatural powers to keep their powerful status in the world. The fuel that drives these magical rituals is sacrifice, usually human sacrifice, and, of that, usually virgin sacrifice.

                However, sex is inexplicably popular so there needed to be a way to procure virgins. Brilliantly, shortly after the Illuminati was founded in the 18th century, the idea came to use Edward Jenner’s recent invention: vaccines. Everybody would get them but how would virgins come from vaccines. Therein the idea for autism was birthed. It took a while to develop the syndrome, years of occult magicians testing slaves in places like my hometown of Charleston. Or orphans. Or anyone socially undesirable. Eventually, they developed a way to induce autism. And that was fine for the 19th century because the sexual revolution was far off and they only needed to marginally increase the number of virgins. Yet, the 20th century would see the rates of virginity freefall and for the Illuminati to keep power, they needed to increase the rates of virginity.

                They kept using the old method, an offer parents couldn’t refuse: to save the lives of their offspring. More and more vaccines were developed but they couldn’t keep up with the exponentially decreasing rates of virginity. Finally, the Kinsey surveys came out and James Dean and Bill Haley became superstars. All the sudden, virginity rates were hitting lows the Illuminati wept at and could scarcely fathom. So, they hit back with the biggest vaccine, yet: the Polio Vaccine. Finally, though, the climactic battle of the sexual revolution was raged on the fields of Woodstock and the streets of Berkley. The hippies believed everyone has a right to have sex and unmasked the Illuminati’s plot. They got wise to  the truth of vaccines and refused to do anything unnatural to their children.

                The movement was slow but sure. In 1998, bold truth-teller Andrew Wakefield published, with shaking-hands, the proof. The medical establishment was proven by Michael Foucault to be an arm of the Illuminati so it is unsurprising that they lashed out to suppress the leaks that threatened the powers that be. They revoked his medical license but it was too late, the truth had won. Alas, the Illuminati hit back again, with GMOs to induce autism. People can survive disease most of the time but they cannot survive starvation and GMOs were required to avert starvation on an overpopulated planet. Autism rates skyrocketed. Finally, virginity rates began to increase and the Illuminati sighed relief. Decades of increasing sexuality had been reversed and now there was an ocean brimming with virgins to throw onto altar slabs, stab obsidian daggers into, and offer to Lucifer. That is how autism came to be. It was a Satanic plot to engineer people for the Illuminati to sacrifice in their Satanic rituals.

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